What kind of relationship fits?
Open or closed relationships? Gay, bi or straight? Poly or mono, or something in the middle… Peaking or not peaking? Tantra, S/M or ordinary sex? Single sex, group sex or swinging? What is the right way to live our sex and love life.
For me there is no right answer to those questions, it is for each person to find their own way through the relationships- and sex jungle and find their own truth – and often it is a truth that can change through life. Personally for me it has been a difficult journey to take. Since I was 16 year I have mostly lived in serial monogamy, and to be honest to you, it did not work so good for me.
It was like trying to be someone that I am not, in my core, every time I was in a relationship I lost energy in my life, gained weight, got less attractive and unhappy. For years I had a big“romantic dream” on myself that I was a monogamous woman, and that one day I would find the “right one” that could fill my life up and from that day I would only see him and only lust for him…
One day I started to question that belief I have put on myself. Is it right? Can you be sure it is right? And no it was not right, but it was safe…. And that day I decided to change my life, and to find what is then the truth about me… I still don’t know it for sure yet, but after that day, so much has changed, the safe world is gone, and an exiting journey has begun. To be honest, it is a fun, challenging and provoking journey to be on, and some days I just want to run back to my safe boring life. BUT then I remember how much fun and joy I have in my life now, how much more alive I feel, and look into my husbands eyes and ask him if he wants to go back to before, and he always say NO, and then we take one more step together in our journey to set each other free to be who we really are.
So instead of promising each other to only be with each other, we have promised to always be totally honest and transparent with our core. We have also promised to support each other in finding and living out our core truth, no matter what it is… And for me that is real love, to be with a person that is more interested in who you are for real, than to have someone to complete their “romantic dream” not being really interested in you…. and the reward has been that we keep on growing being together, and I hope we will continue to do that for a long time.
So this time in this relationship I get more energy to my life, I lose weight, and get more attractive and more happy, and the only change I did was starting to be honest to myself and to stop trying to be someone I am not… And one more important thing we both has done is tostart serving instead of trying to get something from the relationship….
With Love Kat